the wife of noble character

i started studying proverbs 31:10-31 yesterday.  this section of scripture talks about “the wife of noble character.”  i haven’t done a line by line study of a chunk of scripture in a while, but i know i really need this (at least that’s what the Lord tells me 🙂  i want to be this woman – the wife of noble character.  i’m just not where i want to be, where i need to be – for my family and for myself.  there’s no crazy sin in my life, but i’m not this woman, not yet anyways.  i don’t know if you’re in the same boat, but i thought i’d share what the Lord is trying to teach me; maybe He’ll use it in your life too!

okay, the first three verses:

A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

let’s break it down.  verse 10: A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies. 

i looked up the word noble.  i thought at first of someone of royalty, like someone who lives in a castle.  i’m not a princess, so i’ve already failed if that’s what it means!  but the dictionary says it can also mean “exalted moral or mental character; excellence.”  that makes more sense.  do i have exalted moral or mental character?

then i thought of character – this is what makes a woman valuable – not looks, money, title, or accomplishments, but the Lord says character!  wow, what a different story from what the world is telling!

okay, rubies – rare, beautiful and valuable.  a wife of noble character is more rare, beautiful and valuable to God (and the man of God) than rubies!

verse 11: Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

full confidence – what does this mean?  he can trust her completely; she’s reliable, he feels safe.  funny thinking about us women folk keeping the men safe, but it’s true in a sense.  can my husband trust me to do what i need to do?  is he confident that i will take care of my family the way i need to?  am i a good steward of the things entrusted to my care – money, time, relationships?

he lacks nothing of value – i started thinking (gathering from my observations as a married woman of 11 years!)  what do men really value?  respect (that’s a big one!) peace in our home, physical and verbal affirmation, confidence (i’m sure there are a lot more).  of course my husband should find his identity in Christ, but does having me as a wife help towards those things?  is there any way that i disrespect my husband?  cause there to be chaos or conflict instead of peace in our home?  are there ways i can affirm him more physically and verbally?  do i help or hinder his confidence in taking care of our family or leading us?

okay, last one.  verse 11: She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

alright, to be honest, after all that, this is where the Lord busted me the most.  not the “bringing him good, not harm” part so much.  i think i bring good to my husband for the most part.  it’s the “all the days of her life” part.  do you ever have a not so great day in your marriage where you want to want to harm your husband (i’m not talking domestic violence here!)  i mean, you want to “share” how your day is going with a friend, maybe even ask them to pray of you?  you end up giving them the full story and in the process completely disrespecting your husband.  or maybe you let little comments about your husband slip in front of friends.  do you say more than you should, things that aren’t benefiting to your marriage?

i think about ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

i’m a filipino woman.  what does that mean?  i have an opinion about pretty much everything and have a hard time keeping it to myself.  not great for bringing my husband good and not harm.  on the good days it’s pretty easy, but the Lord says, “all the days” of my life.

the Lord is so gracious and patient with me (and so is my husband!)  i pray that the Lord would teach me, give me His heart for my husband and marriage.  that God’s Word would work in my life to overcome my personality, even my culture and experiences.  i want to be a wife of noble character, that my husband would not lack anything of real value, that he would count me more beautiful and valuable than rubies.

anybody with me?  i don’t know who’s reading this, but i pray that the Lord uses it to convict and encourage you to walk closer to Him and be the woman He’s made you to be.  i’ll be praying for you; please pray for me 🙂  i’ll post the next few verses soon.  hope to see you there!